community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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