so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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