he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
