I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Randomize
