You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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