atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
dude. I can hear the air.
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