Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
