Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
