you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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