i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
