How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize