K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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