Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
