We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
