She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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