You made me cry and you don't even care
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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