It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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