your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
