It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
