everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
