first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
It's just like the Real World with babies
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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