yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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