I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
