Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
she pinky promised me she was 18
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
