if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Randomize
