we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
