smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
