wake up i wanna do it froggy style
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
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He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
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