I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
