"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
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i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
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We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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