someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
