You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize