SEEEEXXX PLEASE
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
