I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize