you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize
