so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize