return my video game
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
