you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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