I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
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