glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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