The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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