Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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