Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
