My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
