Tell her she can't have a vagina
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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