he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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