how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
