he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize
