just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
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