dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
