Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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