my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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