hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
