So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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