1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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