im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Randomize
