so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
