Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
