hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I have fence marks all over my body
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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