dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
