"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I am available for nakedness
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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