according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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