I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
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Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
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Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
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