Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
