You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
