Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
